my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
