what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
