escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
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