just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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