I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
