Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
