Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I wish you could order shots online.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
