dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
