wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
