i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
