Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
