tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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