I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
there is puke in my bra ... again
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