I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
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were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
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I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
is it fun? or sober?
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