careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
