How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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