I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize