I can tuck mytits in my pants
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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