He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
cat food counts as protein by the way
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Success! We fucked roommates!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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