His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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