Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
