Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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