You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
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Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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