You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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