I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
