looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Vodka?
Forever.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
