he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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