so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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