bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
