Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
