return my video game
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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