I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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