I wannas sexs uuuuu
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
