I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
