Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You may now shotgun with the bride
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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