You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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