I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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