I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
