I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
