i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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