I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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