Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
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i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
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If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
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