just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize