you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize