if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I party with great urgency now.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
