Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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