As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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