Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I could fuck to npr.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
