I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
