Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I touched a dick in church today
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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