I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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