if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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