bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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