nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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