She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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