This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
