Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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