It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
