I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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