in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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