White coat. Heels.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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