I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
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