I'm going to jail i love you
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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