in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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